Sunday, 6 April 2008

Festival festivities

How do you pack for a festival?
The most important point when packing is practicality – only take as many clothes as your luggage of choice will provide a home to. The second most important point is finding the most and the biggest luggages you own – once they’ve been located, fill them all with too many clothes and then go shopping. Fuck carrying it all, it’ll carry itself. At least three outfit changes per day are reasonable – you’ll feel born-again every time you find a new item of clothing you’ve forgotten made the journey, despite the broken back you’ll have acquired from lugging the ‘staple’ backpack through ten fields having already been living at perpetual Pimms o’clock since the extended pre-allnighter began a few days ago. Don’t forget, you’ll need another holdall worth of accessories to match the outfits, and equally or perhaps moreover, the fact that you’ll probably lose half of them/give them away to strangers during the course of the weekend – more is more.

Useful points to note
Bring marshallows for toasting, they’ll make you at least five new friends
Don’t be a fool and buy Stella to almost instantly exchange for cold Carling; it’ll only mark you out as a virgin
Sturdy footwear is essential for tramping your way through inches of excrement
Wet wipes, dry wipes, everything in between wipes…
Hide your bottle of JD in with the tent, they’ll never know
Remember how fashionable ‘organic’ is these days any minute you feel repulsed (or just hungover)
Hats, headscarves a la delectable senior citizen, plastic bags, paper bags, swimming caps – you love it
Bring a seven person tent for three of you – use a third of it as your walk-in wardrobe, the middle as a house for the alcohol, and a small corner for sleeping… might as well be as ridiculous as possible, just because you can
Harbour a cold so you don’t have to deal with the stench. Or alternatively, a clothes peg – yum yum

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